There’s something smelly in the water

Ok, this heading  is just a twist to Brooke Fraser’s classic; Something In The Water(you should listen to it)

The thing in the water smells here though. I’m not love-struck.

On the 30^th of April, I went to Mega Plaza to look for something thoughtful to buy for my friend, Ify Babee(hehe). It was her birthday. It was supposed to be cheap too, I forgot to add that part. By cheap, I mean, N700 or less.  On my way, I had the brightest inspiration!...i would get her Peanut Butter. The girl consumes the thing like a gourmand. So I thought that would be perfect. I cat-walked into the mall, I had to, everyone there was cat-walking too;  In the land of the cat-walkers, the one walking straight seems crippled. I was no cripple. So, with my head high, i asked the sales girl where peanut butter was,  she gave me directions as she eyed me.….N600 was on my mind. Hahahaha. I saw a N1000 label and started looking around the shelf to see if that was an error. I bought it eventually, consoling myself with: ‘nothing is too much for Ifeoma’.

Have you noticed the rows of DSTV dishes on the windows of 1004 flats in V.I, Lagos? If that is normal to you then it means you don’t know it is possible to have huge dishes with many LNBs that can serve more than one flat. Of course it is more gainful for DSTV to sell one dish to one family.  We think the best available is a Dual-LNB dish, for the parlor and bedroom. (I won’t say Go-TV is a better option though J)

I don’t know the number of people dying because of the lack of standard airbags in our ‘tear-rubber’ vehicles. I mean, putting airbags in a car is a standard safety measure abroad! Well, most of the cars we import here don’t have the added ‘luxury’ o! (Do your research) It’s just cheaper to sell those cars to the scrambling buyers in developing countries.  So, next time you turn your ignition, check for the airbag light, if you see none, I advise you to pray before moving and drive like every other person is a madman.  Smelly

I don’t want to get started with MTN’s weak services.  Thank goodness we can port in minutes now J, that’s good for them *sticking out tongue* . On a serious note, why would you add a data cap to an ‘unlimited’ data-plan for BB users.  It says Unlimited on your website and then you text to 777 and they reply that it’s actually 200MB. Smelly

Well, I am not happy Mega plaza is owned by an Isreali, I don’t know if I’d be happier a Nigerian was ‘stealing’ N400 from me. Maybe. That Eko Hotel(EKO!..meaning Lagos, the heartbeat of Nigeria) is not owned by Nigerians. Not good…..uh hun….Smelly

 I have many grievances with the way my country is run. But, I must not overlook the resilient efforts of some of her patriotic citizens to better our lot. By patriotic citizens, I mean all Nigerians who do their work with diligence and finesse, who don’t wait for tips to complete the processes in their job descriptions, who consider Nigeria a great country and take the issues of our country 'P'.
To all of you who are just waiting for an opportunity sent from above to bail from Nigeria, 'anu yi n se mi' better don't go and add to the economic problems of other countries! Recently, all of the 'americana' Nigerians i have come across i  asked why they are back here. The answer is always directly linked to this adage: "East or West, Home is Best"

Nigeria has many heroes, We need more.