The Thin Line between Respect and Fear in Nigeria(3)

The name “Yoruba” was originally the Hausa name for the Oyo Kingdom, meaning “the people of Oyo state”. Oyo was the pre-eminent city of the Yoruba between the 16^th and 18^th centuries(that’s a long time before you were born, and if you were born then and are reading this article, back to sender.) Yoruba is not spoken only in Oyo state now, many states in the South-west are Yoruba-speaking states (all the ‘O-states’ included, to make it easy for you to cite). Other Countries in Africa have enclaves that speak languages very similar to Yoruba. Foremost amongst them are Benin and Togo. The black population of London is comprised mostly of Yoruba people. Brazil and Cuba also have a large population of Yoruba descendants.

The Yoruba are renowned for their art, famous for magnificent terra cotta works throughout the 12^th and 14^th century.

 

Some common Yoruba foods include moin-moin, akara, amala, ewedu soup, egusi, ogbono, fufu, iyan, ogi.  Vegetables are also a large part of their diet. Jollof-rice and fried-rice are cooked for festivities, Iyan as well.  Other popular dishes include maize, yam, plantain, beans(called ewa), eggs, chicken, pumo(cow skin), saki and other types of assorted meats. (I love Yoruba cuisine!)

Yoruba language has been changing through the centuries. Many Yoruba-speaking states speak varied dialects. Some of these dialects are hard to understand by other Yoruba people. Yoruba have a rich vocabulary. Just as many Yoruba states start with the letter ‘O’, Yoruba people are often made fun of by saying they frequently use vowels in their speech: ‘Oo’, ‘Aa’, ‘Ye’, ‘Ee’.

Respect is a major part of Yoruba culture, I can’t say this one has changed through time. For the Yoruba, a lack of respect by a youngster is seen as the most singular indication of bad home training. Unruly children are a stain to the family name. As a child (and even now, sometimes), my mother reprimanded me whenever I didn’t greet her properly in the mornings or after an extended period of absence from her sight. I always felt her sentiments were too unrefined. She taught me well though, because, whenever we went to the village or distant ‘villagy’ relatives came calling, they were always happy with us. We always greeted them well. Respect is an important part of Yoruba culture.

In wedding ceremonies, the bride and groom must acknowledge the family they are marrying into.

Yoruba people have indigineous textile/fabric: Aso-oke, adire, Ankara. They wear lace when in a celebratory mood. Ladies love to tie colourful, flamboyant igele’sJ

 

I love Yoruba culture. It has been well preserved.

When I was growing up, as much as I disliked my mother’s constant warnings when I didn’t kneel properly, i started to loath the Yoruba way of greeting. I erroneously linked it to low self esteem because I thought: ‘why must I greet you so..urghh!’ lol. As I grew up and became more exposed to various Nigerians of other cultures, I realized other cultures had their own ways of showing respect, while  they may not be as gestural, they were just as important.

I have Igbo neighbors, and my mum always refers to the children in that family anytime she decides to talk about my rebelliousness when I was young. Indeed those children greet every senior person in their path. You just take a liking to them because of that.

I know now, that the ‘fear culture’ is not specific to tribe because I have seen very annoying Igbo and Hausa men alike that fit perfectly into the description I gave in my previous post. So is it a self-esteem issue? Yes indeed. You may say not all ‘bully elders’ have a low self esteem. Yes, some have learnt it by virtue of association. This thing is contagious. Beware of Dogs. Many Nigerians now think having a rude and condescending attitude is a natural right to a top position in any particular office. Conversely, you notice that the average Nigerian man is very timid in the face of his seniors. A Nigerian is always looking to do things the ‘right way’ for fear of ridicule; ‘When you went to ask, what did he say?’, ‘Is it okay to go to the bathroom whenever I feel like’(lol, this one I just made up), ‘Ehn..we know what they are doing is not fair, but who is going to talk. Me? No o. You talk first, im at your back’. This may sound funny but its actually very sad. I notice that this is a difference between the western culture and the African culture. In the western world, people are more vocal. They speak their mind.

So, yeah...this ‘fear culture’ is actually contagious. Run away from it. Make sure you are immune. When you catch yourself feeling bad just because your ‘oga’ stared at you a little longer, you have caught it. Don’t come near me!